speechless

i dont know what to say! :)
too bloody tired and exhausted from my works!
i LOVE it!

that's what friends are for

Gw nulis ini krn gw pgn temen2 tau kalo; seorg teman adalah bayangan kita yg msg2 py keunikan'a.

Beberapa hr yg lalu,gw melihat sahabat gw sdg dlm proses hdp yg sgt berat!
She knew that i've found sumthg wasn't goin right in her life lately.
2 hari ketemu,dia menghindar bertatap mata sm gw :) ,tp gw slalu cari ksempatan utk pegang pundaknya seakan2 kasi tau dia bhw; ".. I knw what dya feel sist,i knw sumthg happened .. U never alone,ok.Am here n God here too."

Pada hari ketiga,dia mulai beranikan diri utk membuka diri.Dia tatap mata gw dan blg; "... My life is acak2n.Semua rencana dlm hdp gw brantakan tdk sesuai spt yg gw inginkan.Sahabat2 gw nusuk dr blkg dan skg beralih ninggalin gw ke org laen tnp mrk kasi tw apa kesalahan gw,dan tdk menghargai wkt dan karya dan kringet yg selama ini gw dedikasikan ke mrk bertahun2.I feel wasted."; dgn tatapan penuh kekecewaan,marah dan sakit hati dia ungkapin perasaan'a.

She's one of my bestfriend that i really love,cuz she never talk bullshit at me.Slama bertemen dg dia,dia slalu mengkritik dan lemparin sarkastik2 jokes ttg kekurangan2 gw.Itu kelebihan dia bwt gw! -> SEORANG SAHABAT YG BAIK,DIA TDK TAKUT UTK MENGATAKAN YG SEBENARNYA TTG KEKURANGAN/KEJELEKAN KITA! Tindakan dia membuat gw trs memperbaiki kekurangan2 gw slama ini.i thank her for that!

So,dg kunci keterbukaan dan saling mengkritik dlm pertemanan kami itulah,gw tegor dia;
"Sist,loe adalah manusia terkreatif,tergokil,tercan

tik,terjujur,terindah,ter-fragile,ter-moody yg pernah gue temui.Jgn pernah loe kehilangan smua yg gw sebut di atas cm krn beberapa gelintir org,yg loe sebut "bestfriend's" itu,akhirnya loe jd kalah! Loe cuma py waktu 1jam setiap harinya utk menangis dan meratapi kesedihan yg dtg dlm hdp loe,23jam selebihnya loe bdiri lg dan Full FOKUS dg pkerjaan dan membantu org laen dg tangan loe! You could be an Angel that God had plan.Jgn loe dendam,jgn loe kutuki mrk yg udh nyakitin loe.Maafkan,berkati dan lempar senyum tercantik loe ke mrk.Itu akan spt bara api diatas kpala mrk." ; gw cium pipinya,gw peluk dia dan gw bdoa ... ;"Berkati dan "sembuhkan" dia ya,Tuhan."

--> Pernahkah loe mengerjakan "tugas" loe sbg sahabat selama ini dg benar?Bkn dg baik yg gw ptanyakan,krn baik blm tentu benar!

If you are holding ur mobile phone right now.Scroll it away,and search ur old old friends and asking "APA KBR SELAMA INI?",katakan bhw kamu gak pernah lupain dia,walaupun tdk pernah ktmu lg,tp doa kamu slalu ada bwt dia! Berkati dia dan ucapkan selamat menikmati hari2mu.And tell em u Love em :)

With that,you already be an Angel on earth,and make those Angels up there celebrate the small thing that you do.

I love you,friends :)

behind my Ray Ban

Pagi ini,
dg semangat spt biasanya gw brgkt latian dance.

Selama berjalan,gw menundukan kepala utk menghindar terik matahari.
Kacamata ray ban item yg gw pilih utk ngelindungin mata gw plus tambah kece gw dipagi ini,tnyata ga ngaruh! Tetep aja mata gw silau gemilau liat ke depan.

Ada satu hal tnyata yg mampu menembus kacamata ray ban gw,utk mendongakan kepala..
Kaki kotor anak kecil tnp alas kaki di depan gw,yg bjalan sgt pelan,melawan arah.
Gw ikuti arah dia jalan,yes.. gw balikan badan gw kearah dia.Ada 1 lembar seribuan ditangan'a yg bergerak2 kena angin.
Gw nangis,friend.Gw bkn cengeng!Tp hati nurani gw berbisik lembut; "Lea,you so lucky can wash ur body everyday! And you have lots of 1000 rupiahs in your wallet today!"
airmata ada diujung mata gw!

I grab 5000 rupiah's from my wallet, and i gave it to the next homeless lil boy that i met. Yg ini sdg tertidur,dg perut yg gepeng,baju lusuh,kaki kotor tak beralas,lelap dan ada selembar 2000an diatas perutnya.
I put mine near his flat stomach.
"GOD,i hope when he wake up,he can buy food n drink for him today."

i walked continue my day,and thank GOD that HE walking by myside today!

Have u listen and watch and do what GOD had told to you today?

thanks GOD, YOU made us met :)

2002 gue ketemu dia, yes ... Agnes Monica :)
very young talented artist at that time (and still). She saw me danced at rehearsal for Kris Dayanti show at TRANSTV that time.
Saat itu, kbtln dia jd bintang tamu'a mba KD. Am so excited. Cuz finally can see her closely :)
Selama GR, gue ga lepas pandangan gue dr dia!
Dr cara dia nyanyi, cara dia bicara dg crew2nya di stage, cara dia interaksi dgn dancer2 cwo'a, dan cara dia komunikasi dg crew2 transtv for KD show. She so amazingly well organized n well communicated. Remember, she was only 17 yrs old that time!

Singkat crita, tnyata dia tertarik dg style gue nari wkt itu ---> whatta wonderfull compliment for me!!!!! thx GOD :)
dia nyuruh sekretaris'a utk cr tau ttg gue dan minta kontak nomer hp gue.
Am soooooooo fcukin happy.
Bukan GR, tp tersanjung.
bla bla bla indeskray indebrey, gue ktmu dg sekretaris'a. Gue ks no hp gue, gue disuruh tggu kbr dr mrk lagi utk audisi :)
YES, gue akan hadirrrrrr gue jawab :)

Seminggu berlalu;
gada kabar :( ...... hmmmm, mgkn ga jadi kali yak? well it was OK. Gue ttp sabar and be positive.
Ternyata kesabaran gue mdatangkan hasil. Sekretaris'a tlf gue;
"Lea,bsk dtg ya ke ANIPS di pakubuwono.Utk latian brg Agnes Monica!"
"OK mba! Siap", i hanged up the phone and scream; "Yaaaaaaaayyyyyy! PUJI TUHAN!!!"
----> gue ga bisa tidurrrrr semalaman. huahahahahahaha. whatta hell,why should i lied?it was true :)

Besok'a, gue datang ke studio Anips di pakubuwono.
Gue dtg pertama, blm ada org. hmmmmm, mudah2n gue gak nervous dan gue bisa impress agnes with my dance style :) .i pray in silent.
Pada saat gue lg pemanasan, .......... tiba2;
"Haiiiii ! Pakabar Lea!"; suara itu gue kenal banget! YES, it was her.
"Hai Nez! baik. kabar baik! thx yak udh kasi kesempatan buat gue utk audisi :). umm, gue hrs dance apa nih?"; yeah, i was fcuking nervoussss. damn it. qiqiqiqiqiqiq. lha iyalah gue nari hiphop,masa gue nari dangdut!!!!! hahahahahaha.
"No no no,you don't have to dance. I saw you at KD rehearsal at that time. Today u already practice with me! You ready, aight?"; she smiled nicely at me.
Gue cuma ngangguk dg tegas dan added BIG SMILE with it!
"Nez, gue ke toilet dulu yak?"; gue ijin ke dia.
sesampai gue di toilet gue teriak kenceng banget dibalik saputangan anduk gue!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH,THANK YOU GOD!!! I LOVE YOU!!! AND I LOVE HER TOO!!! THE BEST GIFT EVER;I CAN BE AGNES MONICA dancer's"; i calm down myself, and started calling my mom and told her anything. any-thing :)

Gue inget bgt, latian kita waktu itu pertama kali pake lagu BILANG SAJA. And that was my first video clip with her :) .Lovelly moments.

GOD, now already 2009 and lots of stories i have with her.
She will always be my role artist; and will always be loves her!
Few ppl hate her, jealous bout her, but my pray will never be stop for her.
GOD loves her, coz she always put HIM first in everyway of her life.
She knows if without HIM (papa JC's she called GOD), she will never be like what she is right now.

I love YOU,GOD.
I love you,Nez.

Maju terus sister!!!
Your one amazing young DIVA; INDONESIA proud to have you.
Apapun caci maki org ke loe, tutup kuping!
Tuhan sayang sm org yg SABAR dan pekerja keras.
Love you, babygurl ^^v

am an INDEPENDENT B.I.T.C.H :)

Am on my way to practice this morning, and i saw ...

This Lady,
i guess her age about 40+ sumthing
drives her black car proudly,
strong tough face's,
with her sunglasses on,
hair tide up ... just like a SENORITA,
she's so LOVELY!

i picture my self in the future;
i wanna be just like her!
Miss INDEPENDENT ... that's what i wanna be in the future! :)

I'll drive my own car; i don't need a driver!
I'll pay my bills,
I'll talk like a boss,
walked like a boss!
Am gone be a tough B.I.T.C.H a.k.a Babe In Total Control of Herself :)

I don't need a branded stuffs. Me stay as myself!
Anything that i wear will looks expensive as me.
whateva i wear i love it n me likey.
GUCCI, LV, D&G ... they can't control me!
i don't need 'em.


LEA TIKOALU is INDEPENDENT B.I.T.C.H
that's why they love me ^^

whatcha lookin at?

Good Bye, just Go.

Mikey,
kamu ijinin aku jatuh cinta lg ya?
Am missed you and love you just like the 1st time we met.
Tapi skg kamu udh ngak ada. Kamu udh jauh,Mikey.

Kalau aku naksir someone,aku punya rasa takut kamu anggap aku ngk cinta kamu lagi ...
Aku brasa kosong,Mikey.

I do still waiting for you,entah itu melalui mimpi ataupun cr yg laen.Maybe ur face on the sky by the clouds :)

Sekarang,hdp aku spt ngk bergerak! Yang aku tggu ngk pernah ada,kamu ngk akan pernah ada lagi.
I have to move on,Mikey.
Please,help me to break the ice in my heart,to believe if there is Love for me out there?Do me a favor,Mikey.

If the future man makes me cry,
let it be.
If the future man makes me laugh,
let it be.
If the future man purposed me,
oh please let it be.
Biarkan aku "hidup" lagi,Mikey.

Aku mau "hidup".

Siapapun org itu,aku akan mencintai dia seumur hdpku!
Dan, ...... Aku akan ucapkan Selamat Tinggal buat kamu,Mikey.
Berat,Mikey.Tapi kamu sdh tinggal bagian kisah2 masa lalu aku!

Apapun yg terjadi sm kita di Bali,stay in Bali !!!!! :) -> i am crying hard in this part! .Sepanjang jalan di Kuta dan Legian selalu ada kamu buatku.
But now,kamu harus pergi dan bawa smua kenangan itu ke Surga dg kamu.
I have to continue my journey of life, my journey of new Love.

Good bye,Michael!
Just Go....

Me and Jason ... (Who's Jason anyway?)

YESSSS!
gue tuh rock'n roll tapi goofy a.k.a dodol :)
gue sng bgt sm anak kecil. Gue bs ngobrol dg bocah berjam2. Dan smakin lama gue ngobrol smakin ketauan dodol'a gue! wkwkwkwkwkwkw ...

Duluuuuu bgt, gue pernah jd babysitter lho. Crita'a pjg guys. Awal'a krn gue udh kehabisan uang ditabungan dan gue msh blm kenal sapa2 di JKT. Gue bingung. Gue mau makan pake apa nih? mau byr kost pake apa nih? Gue msh inget doa gue sama Tuhan wkt itu :)
"Tuhan, aku ngk punya uang lagi. Tabunganku udh hbs. Aku laper Tuhan ... Masa Engkau tega? Masa aku hrs dipinggir jalan minta2 uang dan jd wanita nakal (amit2 deh,Tuhan!)?"

Keesokan harinya, gue baca iklan dikoran dibutuhkan perawat yg bs berbahasa Mandarin dan Inggris dan ngk ush pake baju suster. Wahhh, gue bs tuh dua2nya! Gue nekad kirim C.V . Ga lama stlh gue fax C.V gue, si ibu tlf blk ke gue.
"Halo? Lea'a ada?; si ibu.
"Yes. Saya sendiri,bu. Ini dg siapa?"; gue ty blk.
"Saya ortu Jason. Kmu krm C.V utk jd babysitter anak saya. Kmu bs dtg kpn ya?"; si ibu ty lg.
"Bsk juga bisa,bu! Jam brapa sy hrs dtg?"; hati gue deg2n luar biasa. antara hepi dan, krn gue gak prnh kerja ky beginian!

Besok paginya, gue udh ada drmh Jason (pertokoan Panglima Polim). Gue deg2n parah bgt. Parah. Gue udh bayangin aja jgn2 tuh anak nakal luar biasa, krg ajar luar biasa dan yg laen2 yg negative. But, cpt2 gue hapus bayangan itu >poof< ,be positive Lea! :)

"Haiiii, pagi Lea. Saya mama'a Jason :)"; she said.
"Hi ibu, eh tante, eh ai ... "; gue nervous! bodoh. hahahaha, gue bingung masa gue panggil ibu? krn mukanya oriental, masa gue panggil tante? dikirain tante2 ...aaargh, bingung gue :-/
"Udh panggil aja ibu,gpp. Kenalin ini Jason"; dg ramah dia kenalin anak'a.
"Haiii Jason! how are you? ni hao?"; gue ulurin tgn gue utk kenalin diri. He is soooo ganteng :)
Jason wkt itu msh umur 4thn (kalo ga salah ya. udh lama bgt sih).
Dia diem aja, malahan ga mau liat gue :) .Well, gpp gue ngerti bgt.
Sinced then, am officially a babysitter :)

Singkat crita, gue kerja dsana cuma utk bbrp bln. Krn pd awal kerja, gue udh blg sm si ibu kalo ini cuma part time gue, krn gue sbnr'a adalah dancer. Dan gue emg bth uang utk kbutuhan hdp gue. Ibu itu sgt baik hati dan mengerti dg situasi gue. Thx GOD, utk memberi aku pengalaman dlm hidup lbh kaya. Tuhan senang dg org yg berusaha, dan punya niat baik dan suka kerja keras. Jgn pernah malu utk melakukan hal2 yg msh bnr dijalanNYA, krn DIA tdk akan selamanya membuat kamu menderita.

Ngk lama gue kerja jd babysitter, gue dpt pekerjaan jd Salsa dancer di Salsa Club-Kemang (under Teges Prita Soraya manager at that time). Pada saat gue udh ttd kontrak kerja di Salsa Club, gue lgs pamit dg berat hati ke ibu dan terutama ke Jason :(
"Jason. Am no longer work in here anymore. Am gona miss you,sweetheart ..."; i said it in low voice.
"Why? ... am i being naughty, aunty Lea?"; he upset.
"Noooooo! u always makes me laughs n am enjoying everytime that we had. Ni siang sin wo, hao pu hao? (u have to believe me,OK?)"; i hugged him deeply. Sumpah gue nangis. Bbrp bln yg sgt berharga bwt gue.
"Wo ai ni ... hen hen ai ni. I love you, Jason!"; i winked.

I left the house.
And, in my mind i never regret what just happened in mylife that time. I even sooooooo HAPPY! coz GOD give me a BEAUTIFULL moments with Jason n his fam, even only few months.
I don't know what happened with him after that?
Few weeks after i left the house, gue smpt tlf Jason krn kangennnnnnn luar biasa. But you know what happened? Jason rejected my call :( .... mama'a bilang, Jason sedih dan marah, knp gue ninggalin dia? padahal dia udh mau baca buku, udh mau nurut kalo gue suapin, udh mau tdr siang, udh mau ngobrol2 sm daddy'a (fyi; dia susah bgt ngobrol sm daddy'a wkt itu) ... dsb.
*sighs* .... there's nothing i can do bout it. Live is goes on. I have to move on.

Jason akan selalu ada dlm hati gue! Dia adalah bagian yg special buat gue. Cerita yg exclusive dlm hdp gue :)

I love you, Jason! Aunty Lea missed you so ...................

He's name is Sandy

He's name is Sandy Rinaldy.
Take me out indonesia yg bikin kt bedua ketemu :)
Pertama kali ngeliat dia di tgh2 panggung tmoi, gue udh tau kalo dia bakalan milih gue!
Why? Karena anaknya ngk pecicilan, sederhana, manis, sayang sm ortu'a dan punya skill yg sama ky gue; dance and dia breaker :)

Jujur gue jarang ketemu dia, krn jarak tmpt tgl kita yg berjauhan. Dia di cibubur gw di jakarta. Tp itu bkn penghalang buat kita. Kita bdua slalu keep in touch lwt fb, sms, telphone ato chatting di YM :)
Awalnya, agak susah jg komunikasi sm dia. hehehhhe, dia pemalu dan fyi nih; suaranya kecil banget kalo ngomong! hahahahahaa ... (guys, Sandy tuh pemalu bgt! ga tau tuh knp ... ckckck)

Wkt bln puasa kmrn, akhirnya gue sempet maen2 kerumahnya. Gue ketemu sm mama'a, teteh'a, adek'a, dan ponakan'a. Happy family. Mama'a wkt itu kbtln lagi bikin kolak, tnp malu2 gue minta kolak buatan mama'a ... hahahahahahaha (ga tau malu ya gue?) .Enak bgt tauk ;)
Selama drumah Sandy, gue bawel bgt, tanya2 ini itu sm mama'a. Mama'a Sandy baik bgt, cantik dan berjilbab. Teteh'a jg cantik dan baik. Kalo ponakan'a; suka mondar mandir! qiqiqiqiqiqqi. Adek'a lbh seneng nongkrong diluar sm temen'a, jd gue ga sempet ngobrol2 sm adek'a.

Sandy, setau gue, org'a setia kawan. Gue demen bgt sm sifat dia yg satu ini. Ga byk cingcong, tp do action. Mudah2n, dia sifatnya begitu bkn cm di depan gue aja yak? hehehehe (peace, sayang).

Skrg kita bedua sdg berusaha yg terbaik. Kita ngk tau rencana apa Tuhan atas kita bedua. Tp kita yakin, apapun rencanaNYA, pasti yg tbaik bwt kita semua.
Awal2'a gue milih Sandy, mama gue ngk setuju, mama gue nangis, krn perbedaan agama kita berdua. Wkt gue blg ke Sandy, dia sgt berbaik hati, dia blg pgn tlphone ke mama gue, dan mau tenangin mama gue. Tp gue blg gak ush, biar gue yg jelasin ke mama, cuz i know my mom well then the other.
Mama gue skg udh bs ngertiin gue n Sandy. It takes time for my mom to except him, tp gue slalu buktiin kalo Sandy baik dan gak pecicilan. Malahan mama gue srg ty gini; "Udah ketemu mama'a sandy? Sandy apa kabar? Kamu sm Sandy jgn suka brantem, etc".
Am glad that my mom now support us. Thx mom. I owe u, ...... again :)

Sandy my dear,
I hope our way will always in a good path! And, our mothers pray will always follow us wherever we go. Let's win and make our mothers happy n proud of us. It's not easy, i know! but i believe; THERE IS A WILL, THERE IS A WAY!!!!!

Aku sayang kamu,Sandy .. with GOD's love
God love you!

EVERYDAY, I TAKE A STEP BACK TO THROW A PUNCH

My body keeps telling me that something happens inside :)
... And i keep fights back hardly to them!

No matter how pain it is,i smiled..
No matter how sudden it keeps coming bck,i pretend it's nothing happen..

My feet are colds n sweat when i fight em back.. And all i can do just say the magic words; "JESUS help me!" ,and add some smile with it :)

It's like a timebomb waiting stop ticking,and am done ... And the worst is; i don't know how long the time it is?Do i get extended time when the real time is coming?

I breathe like a monster in the morning sumtime,but i get used to it now :)

Sweet Jesus,am sorry.. Forgive me for everything bad and horrible in my past.. Cuma ENGKAU yg bs hapus smua dosa dosaku,TUHAN!

I don't know if THE BILLS for mylife is coming this early,
and now i have to pay it all :)

I never stop fighting with it!
Never

YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE, MOM

i look up to the sky ..
i see the clouds are making a beautiful face of u Bunda :)

sometime it smile ..
sometime it laugh ..
sometime it cry ..
sometime it sad ..
sometime it happy ..
those clouds just send the massage of ur soul,Bunda!

when it rain ..
i felt of ur sadness :'(
when it thunder ..
i felt of ur angry cuz apart from me ..
when it sunshine ..
i felt ur LOVES so bright shining down on me!
and when it Sunset ..
i felt u send me a thousand kisses and say; "GOOD NIGHT MY LIL PRINCESS .... <3 "

Bunda,aku butuh Bunda selamanya!
biarkan awan2 itu terus menjadi pengawal pengawal hari2 mu utk menyampaikan isi hatimu..
ENGKAU TERBAIK DAN TERSEMPURNA DLM HIDUP KAMI,ANAK2MU,BUNDA

DO IT ANYWAY

Mother Teresa: "Do It Anyway"


People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

-this version is credited to Mother Teresa

i found a box

"Is it for me?", gw clingak clinguk liat kanan kiri, sapa tau ada yg salah naro parcel...
hmmmmmmm... ada nama gue sih dsitu; "JUST FOR LEA"

cepet2 gw bawa masuk parcel itu dan gue buka.
gw bingung, koq KOSONG!
gw bolak balik tuh kotak, beharap ada sesuatu yg jatoh dr dlm kotak itu...
IS NOTHING THERE!

gue nyandar ditembok kamar gue, sambil bengong dan sedikit senyum gue mikir apa ada yg ngisengin gue?

hmmmmm, msh penasaran gue ambil lagi tuh kotak parcel.
Kali ini gue perhatiin tiap sudut bagian luar kotak itu... and THERE YOU GO! :)

ada tulisan; "KOTAK INI MEMANG KOSONG. TUGAS KAMU ADALAH BAGAIMANA CARANYA KAMU MEMBUAT KOTAK INI JD SPECIAL. I SEND YOU THIS BOX,BECAUSE YOU ARE SPECIAL! AND I WANT YOU TO MAKE THIS BOX BE THE ONE"

Now, i have something new in my room, not just a thing ... but a special one!
Skrg tiap hari gue terpacu hrs berbuat sesuatu yg special, dan berbagi dg kotak itu :)

"I WISH ALL OF YOU GET THE SAME BOX THAT I GOT"

i wish GOD give me wings just one night

Are YOU there,GOD?
I missed my mama so bad...

when i started pray,only tears n small word came out from my mouth; "Ya ampun TUHAN,lea kangen mama"

siapa yg nyuciin bajunya?
siapa yg nemenin tdrnya?
siapa yg ketawa brg mama bila ntn film2 drmh?
siapa yg nemenin dia mkn pagi,mkn siang,dan mkn malam?
siapa yg nemenin dia pergi ke gereja?
siapa yg nolongin dia naek trn dr taxi?

i know u r a SUPERWOMAN,mom... but i want to do all of that for you!

i believe GOD created my hands,to help you..
GOD created my mouth,to share a laughter with you..
GOD created my lips,to kissing ur hands n cheeks..
lea adalah milik mama.

i wish GOD give me wings just one night,i will fly crossed the skies to share my time with you! even only a lil time,but am gona make it fine.

kalo org bangga dg harta kekayaan mrk,
aku bangga krn py mama yg kaya hatinya!
You are my precious,mom..
i LOVE you!

17.05.09 -> leading to something remarkable in mylife!

17.05.09 -> she made me cry over something that i never done.

gue msh inget,kata2 pait keluar dr mulutnya.. makian,hinaan dan merendahkan.
Air mata gue tnp dsengaja keluar bgtu saja diujung kdua mata gue.. Gue kaget,krn dia yg slama ini gue hormati dan gue sayang,tnyata skg menjadi org no.1 yg hampir menghancurkan hdp dan masa dpn gue.

Doa gue ngk pernah pts2nya; mengucap berjuta kata; MAAFKAN DIA ya Tuhan,krn dia tdk tau apa yg dia pbuat.

dr doa doa dan air mata gue pd malam 17.05.09 itu... tnyata Tuhan sdh menyiapkan sesuatu yg indah buat hdp gue ^^

ADALAH;

HARI INI !

Semua org menyatakan rasa pedulinya,rasa cintanya,rasa sayangnya dan ingin selalu dkt dg gue,walaupun hanya dr layar tivi aja...
"SIAPA GUE???! ... GUE BKN SIAPA2! GUE CM ORG KAMPUNG,ANAK KOST2N,MKN PAS2N,BAJU BYK MINJEM TEMAN2... GUE BKN SIAPA2!!! ... "

gue buka hp gue,gue baca satu persatu wall gue,komen2 di note2 gue,komen2 di status gue... MEREKA SEMUA SAYANG GUE T.T
"Gue org kampung,anak kost2n yg tnyata menjadi diri sendiri dan rendah hati dan takut sm mama dan TUHAN... membuat mrk sayang sm gue T.T ... ANUGERAH TERINDAH DARI TUHAN!"

take me out indonesia berjasa atas kebahagiaan gue!
fremantle crew berjasa sdh menemukan gue dan pcaya bhw gue bs jd diri gue sendiri di balik podium take me out.

TUHAN ITU BAIK,DAN DIA BAIK UTK SEMUA ORANG YG TERTINDAS DAN DIHINA HIDUPNYA.
Gue ngk bs membalas sakit hati gue pd saat itu,TAPI TERNYATA... justru sikap mengalah gue itulah yg mengarahkan ke kebahagiaan gue saat ini ^^

TADI PAGI,
Mami dari mantan gue telphone gue! Dia blg; DIA IKUTI ACARA TAKE ME OUT INDONESIA sejak Eps.1 ,krn ada gue disana.. Dia blg dia ajak suami dan seluruh isi rmh ntn acara TMO.. kcuali my ex,i guess he CAN'T HANDLE himself to see me there,STANDING STRONGLY BEAUTIFULY AND MOVE ON WITH MYLIFE after what he has done.. (Tuhan maha baik! Dia beri kesempatan luar biasa buat gue utk PAY BCK ALL THE HARD TIME,by this TMO)..

......
it's me,
LEA TIKOALU.
Anak terakhir dr 4 bsodara.
Turunan Cina-Manado,yg proud to be Manado!
Yg rela bekerja keras dan ngk takut kotor tangan'a,supaya bs menghidupi mamanya.
Ce "gila" yg nekad pndh ke Jkt,dg hanya 1 koper aja! yg py tujuan hdp,utk menyenangkan mama dan membuat kel. Besar TIKOALU bangga punya saudara spt gue.
Gue blm kaya saat ini,tp sumday.. gue pasti kaya!
kalo gue kaya,gue br bs bntu org laen dan tmn2 gue..

LEA TIKOALU bkn siapa2 ^^
tapi TUHAN sayang bgt sm gue yg bkn siapa2 ini.. MAKASI YA TUHANNNNN!



PS:

Buat semua yg sisihkan wkt utk; sdh bgtu baik dan sayang dan mengkritik dan menghina dan mensupport dan mengkomen dan merayu dan berjanji2 palsu dan siapapun loe2 semua... ; THANK YOU YAAA! Pujian dan kritikan kln sgt2 mengena dihati gue koq.. Sgt2 berharga koq.. maaf kalo gue ngk bls mssg ato chat kln,bkn krn sombong.. tp krn gue jg kaget dg smua ini !!! terlalu indah dan takut berakhir dg cpt juga... gue takut tiap gerak gerik gue salah dan nyakitin kln... skali lg; LEA bkn siapa2 ^^ .am happy that my dance skilled is the leader to my happiness.. and thanks to LORD that HE gave me the skill !

if you all keeping me in this track,than i believe GOD will increasing my skill to do a better things in mylife ^^ (OH amen for that!)


Thank's !!!!!
i wish this note will open ur minds and put faith in everybody lifes that ur lifes can be a BETTER ONE!
.....
if u see me on the street walking by near you,DON'T HESITATE to call my name, i will SMILE bck at you,and my SMILE hopefully will blessing you!

i.love.u

GOD is ....

GOD itu bisa cemburu ^^

GOD itu yg slama ini slalu ada bwt kt;
- pd saat kt sakit
- pd saat kt sedih
- pd saat kt jatuh
- pd saat kt dihina
- pd saat kt ga py apa2 utk mkn
- pd saat kt ga bs kmn2 utk hangout dg sahabat2 kt
- pd saat kt jln2 ke mall,liat baju yg "gue bgt" tp ga bs beli
- pd saat kt jomblo
- pd saat kt cm py HP yg screen'a cm item putih
- pd saat kt kalah dlm suatu kompetisi dlm hdp
- pd saat kt desperado,dan mau bunuh diri
- pd saat kt pgn py gadget2 mutakhir,kt cuma gigit jari dpn etalase
- pd saat kt di fitnah
- pd saat kt di cuekin sahabat
- pd saat kt cm py kamar sederhana ga ber-AC,ga ber-TV,ga ber-spring bed,ga ber-water heater
- pd saat kt yatim piatu
- pd saat kt jauh2n dg keluarga
- pd saat kt berantem dg kaka ato adik akan sesuatu yg sepele
- pd saat kt ga mampu byr uang pdidikan
- pd saat kt cuma uang hanya buat hr ini aja
- dan byk lagi...
- dan byk lagi...
- DAN BANYAK LAGI...

GOD slalu ada buat kita!
GOD slalu pinjamkan jubahNYA utk tempat kt mengusap airmata!
GOD slalu berikan kedua telapak tanganNYA yg mulia ke arah kt,dan menari bersama2 utk menghibur kita!
GOD mengusap2 kepala kita sblm tdr,dan mengecup kening kita dan blg ; I LOVE U... AM GONA MISS U TOMORROW... --> GOD kangen sm kita,krn kita kdg suka lupa dg kehadiranNYA dlm 1 hari ! km ga sadar kan??

GOD itu spt pacar kita ^^
DIA bisa cemburu jg ^^
bahkan GOD adalah pacar tbaik dlm hdp kita,tnp kita sadari.

HAVE U TALK TO UR "PACAR" TODAY? and THANK HIM for everything that ur "PACAR" have done for u at 24/7?

Go to ur room now if u haven't talk to HIM!
Tell HIM; that u missed HIM,and LOVE HIM too! and THANK HIM for all the gifts, all the bless and even the worst day happened in ur life,COZ look at u... u still here,aight? ^^
itu smua bkn krn kuat dan gagah kita... tapi krn KASIH KARUNIA "PACAR" kita ^^

His name is JESUS "HANDSOME" CHRIST!
"PACAR" setia kita semua!

i wish ya'll having a wonderfull DATING with HIM start tomorrow!!!

Amen ~.*

My Lovely Dad

Ngak ada yg bs merubah waktu utk kembaliin aku d masa2 kamu msh hdp,Pa...

Semalam aku mimpi ketemu Papa...
Papa seperti biasa ngk bicara,cuma diam dan memeluk saja.....
Kamu pasti tau aku sdg sakit kan Pa?... i'll be OK,don't u worry bout me :)

Aku buka pelukanmu,dan aku memilih utk duduk dsampingmu...
tatapan mataku ngk lepas dr kamu Pa.Kamu tetep ganteng spt dulu T.T
Mama rindu sm Papa!
Kami rindu sm Papa!
Mama msh sering putar kaset lagu2 Papa nyanyi,tiap sore druang senam.... Mama msh jatuh cinta sm Papa :)
Kami rindu sm Papa.

5 bulan lagi akan Natalan yg ke 7 tanpa Papa..
7x Natalan kami ngk pasang pohon Natal Pa..
i think still hard for mum to found out that ur not here anymore..

Pa,
i feel lonely.
my heart empty.
i fight very hard against the feeling Pa.
i make myself to laugh everyday,foolish myself,so i wont feel lonely.

Dad,
i guess i have to go back to real life now...
come visit me in my dream more often,
so i wont feel lonely.
would u sing a song for me before am awake from my sleep?
sing YESTERDAY for me Pa... i like when you sing that song.You have an Angel voice Pa.

Look! the light is here..
it's the time.
i'll c u again Pa :)
i LOVE you!
we LOVE you!

... i love u

Inside n Outside

LEA itu ya;

OUTSIDE;
.Tomboy mostly
.Gurly jg bisa
.Bohemian jg bisa
.Sporty
.Sport'aholic
.Pake kontak lens abu2
.Pake kacamata silindris
.Rambut item panjang
.Berponi
.Pake retainer gigi
.Suka makeup gothic
.Selalu pake gelang warna warni sblh kiri
.Selalu pake jam tangan Astro Boy di kiri
.Ada tattoo Rosario di lengan kanan
.Ada tattoo Diau U di leher belakang
.Suka pake kalung Rosario
.Matanya suka jereng
.Tingkah laku'a goofie
.Cetakan muka'a jutek
.Suka senyum -> bkn tebar pesona!
.Tiba2 ada gambar; hati,bintang ato teardrop di pipi kiri
.Pirsing di lidah
.Ga doyan makan!
.Bawa teh ijo kemana2
.Sepatu kesayangan'a; boxer khakis dan Nike dunk pink-putih
.HP N70 + esia huawei
.Autis maen HP!
.Love PEMPEK!
.Love soup!
.Love Toge!
.Love kerupuk!
.Love keju!
.Love coklat!
.Love kismis!
.Suka bikin bola bola coklat dan crunch balls
.Perfume kesayangan; Angel,Pleasure,Burberry
.Abis mandi pasti semprot Rexona dketek biar ga basket!
.Keramas tiap hari
.Ditas pasti ada; dompet,sisir,tisu bsh,tisu krg,charger hp,sofell,eyeliner,teh ijo,tetes mata,ventolin inhaler -> obat asthma gue,tusuk gigi,gunting kuku,carefree

INSIDE;
.Ternyata Mellow!
.Cinta DANCE+SING
.Punya tattoo; dolphine,tribe brokenhearted,cupid
.Pusernya berpirsing
.Punya bronchopneumonia,asthma,si

nusitis,maag
.Takut sm TUHAN!
.Hormat sm Mama!
.Cinta sm keluarga!
.Cinta sm temen&sahabat
.Gampang nangis liat sesuatu yg mellow
.Cinta anak kecil
.Punya intuisi kuat kalo ada yg ga suka sm gue
.Suka nulis NOTE di FB!
.Banci status di FB!
.Pengen bgt jadi detektif dan punya pistol
.Cinta Mati sama Michael J.Falcone (Died 16.9.2007 airplane crushed at Phuket,Thailand)
.Benci Mati sm ROKOK! -> It killed my grandpa n Dad n almost kill me too!
.Big Fans of; 0prah Winfrey,Agnes Monica,My Dad,M.J,Michael J.Falcone,Al Pacino,John Travolta,Denzel Washington,Sean Connery,Jim Carey,Robbin Williams,Angelina Jollie,Demi Moore,Bruce Willis,Jacky Chan,Tora Sudiro,Christine Hakim,Dedi Mizwar,Ria Irawan,and my self!
.Pengen jago nembak
.Pengen bs terbang
.Pengen bs nyetir mbl
.Pengen bs nyetir H.D -> hahaha!
.Pengen bs tdr cepet! -> hahaha!

Michael Joseph Falcone

"Give me 5 minutes each day to see Mike,God"

am awake today so EMPTY........
I kicked my blanket away and sighs.... same feeling different day.....


I missed him heavenly...
Lemme touch his hands...
His face...
And lemme see his turtle lips smile at me...

I missed u baby boo,
no one call me; boo butt anymore.. no one sing Wonderful Tonight before i go to sleep anymore..
Everyday between 12am-5am i stay awake,staring at my cellphone,stupidly wish that u call me from Heaven n sing Wonderful Tonight for me..

Am dying down here,missin u baby boo.. Like wolverins howling to the full moon..

if i see a couple walking down the street,
am not jelous even a 'lil bit,cuz our love story was great than anycouple in this world :)

Am here,
tapping the empty space beside me and wishpered to Heaven;
"Give me 5 minutes each day to see Mike,God..."
before i go to facing mylife everyday

True story about Pay it forward

Bck then when i was 7 years old (kira2 thn 1983).. Gue inget mama dan papa sering ngajak shopping ke Toko SIOLA jl.Tunjungan. Itu toko paling hit jaman dulu! Paling keren dan komplit.Gue bs 3x mondar mandir dlm sehari ke toko itu cuma buat belanja baju2 dan mainan2.Siang belanja sm mama,sore belanja sm papa,malem sm opa.Tiap sabtu pasti jalan2 ke amusement park naek mobil Jeep rame2 brg keluarga and,sahabat gw pasti gue ajak! Buat gue itu saat2 paling bahagia buat gue dlm hdp.What do you think? It's Lovely aight =)

WELL,itu dulu. Hehehe. Jaman jaya2nya keluarga gue.

Oh TUHAN,melihat jaman itu gue msh kecil,mgkn gue lupa mengucap syukur atas nikmat smua itu.Jadi ... ,TERIMA KASIH YA TUHAN BUAT MASA KECILKU YG SERBA KECUKUPAN. I love YOU!!! I will never forget that moments. I love YOU FOR BETTER OR WORST,JESUS CHRIST.

Pay it forward.Ever heard bout that?Oprah Winfrey prnh ngebahas itu dan bahkan bikin 1 episode khusus ttg "Pay it forward" di shownya dia.
Knp gue tiba2 ngebahas ttg ini?Krn wkt msh kecil,gue prnh ngelakuin hal itu.Bkn disuruh siapa2 ya,tp gue sndiri yg mau =)

Gini kejadiannya.Gue smpt ngk naek kelas wkt kelas 3 SD,dan sbg hukumannya,mama gue mindahin gue dr sekolah Kristen terkeren di Sbya,ke sekolah biasa dkt rmh.Di sekolah biasa itu,gue punya temen2 yg rata2 hdpnya krg beruntung.Salah satu dr mrk ada yg sgt2 menarik perhatian gue.Why?Krn nih cwe sgt2 sgt2 sgt2 jutek and nyolot abis ke gue! Gue bingung,knp dia benci ya sm gue???

Until sumday,pas gue telat msk gerbang sekolah,gue ngliat tmn gue yg jutek itu br turun dr becak brg adik2nya dan kakanya.
"Hai,telat ya?Sama nih.Yuk brg2!"; gue sng bgt,dpt moment bs ngobrol dan nunjukin bhw gue pgn btemen sm dia ;)
Tapi dia ngk jwb.Dan gue tetep bdiri dsamping mrk.Mrk satu persatu trn dr becak dan bergantian ke arah si tukang becak,nyium tangan si tukang becak.
Sumpah gue agak kaget liat itu.
Dgn agak berlari2n menuju kelas,dgn polosnya gw tanya ke dia;
"Langganan naek becak tiap pagi?."
Tiba2 dia dorong bdn gue keras bgt; "Bapak aku tukang becak! Itu becak bapak aku!". Mukanya merah dan mata belo-nya melotot.Gue cm bengong dan mrasa bsalah dg ptanyaan gue >.<

Right there.In that moment i know why she hated me! Dia pasti mikir,gue tipe anak org mampu yg sombong dan bakalan menghina dia krn ayahnya seorg tkg becak.
Well,she's wrong =D

Plg skolah,gw ngikutin dia smp rmhnya.Sumpah gw sedih.Rumah terkecil yg prnh gw liat! Gubuk lbh tepatnya.Gw bs liat isi gubuknya,krn tmn gw biarin pntunya kbuka lebar.Cuma 3x4,lantai tanah,tmpt tdr tiker ukuran queen size utk ber-6,gelap,lembab,dan keliatan dapur jd satu.
Temen gw ga sadar gw ikutin.

Gw lari pulang.Gw lgsg ganti baju skolah dg baju biasa.Gw cepet2 ke lemari baju gw dkamar,dan gw keluarin smua baju2 gw.I mean ALL OF MY CLOTHES! Smp lemari gw cm sisa bbrp cln dlm,bj tdr favorite gw,dan 1stel bj sragam skolah aja.Yg laen?Got to go =D
Mama gw bngung,krn baju2 itu gw mskin karung =D
Dgn semangat '45 gw mskin smua baju2 gw! Sambil mulut gw celoteh; "Ma,ojo ngamuk yo?Koncoku sakno,ma! Rumane cuilik men,ma. Pantesan,arek iku benci mbe aku.. De'e ga nduwe opo2 ma. Baju2ku buat dia ae! Cekno seneng. Aku mau dia seneng,ma!" (Ma,jgn marah ya.Tmnku kasian.Rmhnya kcl bgt,ma.Pantes anak it ngk suka sm aku.Krn dia ngk punya apa2.Baju2ku bwt dia aja,biar dia sng.Aku mau dia sng,Ma!"
Puji Tuhan,reaksi mama gw bgs.Dia ngedukung bgt.. Malahan,mama bntu iketin karung yg udh penuh dg baju2ku.I love my mom! She is keren to the max.

Singkat crita,gue jd sahabatan dgn temen gue itu. Malahan,dia slalu jagain gue di sekolahan.Dia jagoan bgt! Hahahaha. Dia jago volly dan jago treak2 nakutin cwo yg gangguin gw. Hahahahaha.
Her name is Lilik Sudjarwati dan sang bapak namanya Pak Wadjan (lucu memang namanya,kaya nama penggorengan.Tp kalo ada yg ngolok2 nama bpknya,gw ga segan2 nonjok muka tuh org.Dia pahlawan di keluarga tmn gw!).

Dan apa hubnya dg hdp gw yg skg dg crita td??? Oh ada! Gw skg hdp sendiri di rantau sejak umur gw 17thn.Jauh dr rmh.Dan keluarga gw udh ngk se-mampu dulu lg.Kt tpisah2,krn kt punya tanggung jwb utk survive dlm hdp dan ga mw ngrepotin mama.Bahkan kt hrs bntu meringankn beban mama.Apa yg gw lakuin ke Lilik dulu,skg gw dpt dr tmn2 gw =) ,malahan bkn hanya baju,tp byk hal laen.Pay it forward,it will bck at you sumday!

Pengalamanku dg Lilik is the best example for you all to be a better person by helping each other.And one thing,am Christian and Lilik are Moslem.Tapi kita bs bersahabat! Kadang menjadi anak kecil,lbh menyenangkan.Krn kt msh polos dan tulus dlm hdp.
Gw bharap,dimanapun dia saat ini.. Gw harap jauhhh lbh makmur dan sukses hdpnya dr gw.

once upon a time ...

Her name is Kori Soenarko a.k.a Oie a.k.a Owel. Why Owel? Oie baWel :) ---> Loveyou.com
Gue ga pernah nyangka di take me out indonesia selain dpt pasangan, gue juga dpt seorang sahabat a.k.a big sister a.k.a Angel !

Gue msh inget bgt, hari pertama gue ketemu dia pas mau tanda tangan kontrak TMOI di kantor Fremantle, jln. Barito. Gue liat dia dr ujung rambut sampe kaki ... hmmmm, classy and wangi ^^ . Dgn sotoynya gue memprediksi dia ga jauh2 umurnya dr gue (aihhh, jgn ge er yak mba! qiqiqiqiqi). Tnyata dugaan gue bener, bener2 salah maksud gue! Hahahahahahahahaha.
Well, she's stunning woman. That's it :)

Singkat crita, skrg gue punya guardian Angel. Every morning, dia rajin telfon gue cuma tanya gue udh mkn blm? ato nyenyak gak tdr gue? ato udh diminum blm obat2 gue? and such other simple thing. Yes, indeed she's the Angel that GOD send it for me! Sometime gue takut, kalo2 perbuatan Rock'n Roll gue akan malu2in dia, hahahahahaha ... tnyata nggak! Justru dia sayang sm gue krn apa adanya gue :p (dibalik wajah Ibu Kartini-nya, tnyata dia kadang dodol jugaaaaa. hoohoohoo).

GOD, thank you for letting us be a friend! Dua karakter yg sangat sangat beda, tp bisa mixed jadi satu. Kaya good cop, bad cop ... gue bad cop, mba Oie the good cop :) . Tapiiiiiiiiiiiiii, jgn salah, dia juga super duper Jutex utk bbrp hal. Jutek dia beralasan pastinya. But, DON'T UNDERESTIMATE HER guys. Hahahahahaha. She will eat you alive if you mess with her ;) ---> peace.com

I always have this pray for her;
Ya Bapa,
diberkatilah tanah dimana engkau berpijak,
diberkatilah tanganmu spy apapun yg kau pegang berhasil,
diberkatilah penglihatanmu spy apapun yg kau lihat menjadi berkat,
diberkatilah pekerjaanmu,
diberkatilah kedua org tuamu,
diberkatilah anak dan keluargamu,
diberkatilah tmpt tinggalmu,
dan diberkatilah kamu di dalam tidurmu.
I love you, mba Oie!
I always do :)